Friday 21 November 2014

The Arranged Marriage Saga: The Checklist

My friend who is on a groom hunt showed me her very short checklist:
  1. Good looking
  2. Rich
  3. Good personality (optional; she intends to customize him)
My checklist want-list:



Dear future boyfriend/lover/husband/partner,
  1. I don't care about your level of qualification
    I just want you to be an asset to society
  2. I don't care about the kind of money you make
    I just want you to take good care of your family (parents & siblings)
  3. I don't care if you are fat or skinny
    I just don't want you to eat/ starve yourself to an early grave
  4. I don't care if you drink
    I just don't want you to drink yourself to an early death
  5. I don't care if you smoke
    I just don't want you to be anywhere near me with your smoker's breath
    Also, don't die early because of your smoking habit
  6. I don't care that you have a past
    I just want you to acknowledge it and be honest about it
  7. I don't care that you have an accent
    I just need you to have good English vocabulary and grammar 
  8. I don't care if you have a porn collection or look at other women
    If you stare at them and make them uncomfortable,
    be rest assured, I will make your life hell
    There are enough creeps out there making our skin crawl
    We don't need another one
    Needless to add, you'll be left then and there
  9. I don't care if you are a feminist or any '-ist' at all
    You will treat me as an equal
    I will also be contributing financially
    to the household
    And you will be okay with it
  10. I don't care if it makes you feel less manly
    You will be doing chores around the house 
  11. Most importantly
  • I don't care what you think
    But I'll always love my dad more than I love you
    He is the only man I have fallen for with no conditions attached
  • I don't care what you think
    But to me, my mom was, is and will always be the greatest woman to have inhabited Planet Earth
  • I don't care what you think
    But my sibling is my first and only baby, always has been, always will be

How many prospective grooms do we have left for me? None, you say?

2 comments:

  1. I can understand drinking/smoking, but to add eating to that list? What if he was a foodie? ;)
    And seriously what's with the grammar?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Foodie is fine. Bordering on obesity will be a problem healthwise!
      What's with the grammar? Did I go wrong somewhere?

      Delete